Add bullying prevention to your back-to-school checklist
Aug. 16, 2018
If you’re a parent, chances are you’re somewhere in the throes of back-to-school frenzy: tracking down supply lists, making sure your kids have enough notebooks or socks, checking the school bus schedule. But while you’re getting them prepped to go back to lockers and classrooms and gym, don’t forget to talk to them about bullying.
Chances are that at some point in their life, your child will bully, be bullied, or be a bystander to bullying – and possibly all three. Which is why it’s important to talk about it early and often. It doesn’t have to be a formal sit-down discussion. Sometimes you learn the most about your kid in passing: casual conversations in the car or while getting ready for school in the morning.
Kids often don’t want adults to know they’re being bullied, for several reasons. They may not think an adult will believe them or do anything about it. They may worry that the person who bullied them will find out about their report and make the bullying worse.
But research shows that bullying has serious emotional consequences, not only for the target of bullying, but for the bystanders who witness it. It can lead to low self-esteem, health problems, poor grades, even suicidal thoughts.
So keep the lines of communication open, and if your child tells you they’re being bullied, here are few things you can do:
Believe your child, stay calm and tell them they were right to report to you.
Do NOT confront the child who bullied or their parents. Talk to school authorities instead. If necessary, follow up.
Ask your child what they need to feel safe. This can be things like getting walked to the bus stop for a few days or making sure they have a buddy to eat lunch with.
Keep checking in with your child about the incident. Has anything new happened? Do they feel safe?
As with anything, practice makes perfect, so you can even role-play what to do when your child witnesses bullying or is bullied: “Pretend I’m Mrs. Thompson. What will you say to me about seeing James take away Shasta’s ball on the playground?” The more times your child has articulated their thoughts about bullying, the more comfortable they will be talking about it when the real thing happens.
So as you’re shopping for school supplies and signing up for fall activities, make sure that talking with your child about bullying is also on your back-to-school checklist. You can learn more about preventing and dealing with bullying at stopbullying.gov.
